Posts Tagged ‘fear’

We have become so technologically advanced today that we easily communicate and commune with each other across times zones and oceans and that too live! Unfortunately many of us have lost true communication with ourselves. We have forgotten what it is like to simply commune with nature and we have lost touch with our own individual instinct. We have learnt to make that little voice in our head mimic everyone else and their opinions and expectations, and in this process we have lost our real “little voice”.
Hypnotherapy is a sure fire way of getting in touch with yourself, the real you and your own “little voice”. This will help you to deal with the reality of life around you and many times we know very instinctually exactly how to heal what ails us. This is the so called magic of hypnosis or hypnotherapy.
Factually speaking there is no magic, it’s just You communing with Yourself, with a hypnotherapist holding your hand, because you have seemingly lost yourself and need a professional guide to find that lost destination “Yourself”.

Under hypnosis, you are totally aware of your surroundings and completely in control. The difference is that you are now in a totally relaxed mental and physical posture that your hypnotherapist guides you into. Under these very specially relaxed conditions or hypnosis, all your thoughts, reactions and memories are in a continuous flow and you begin to change your perceptions towards the very same same thoughts and memories that have bogged you down. Slowly but surely, with a skilled hypnotherapist your mind set becomes more positive.
Let me give you a simple example. As a normal person you know (have learnt) that a fresh chilly is hot. So when you pick up a chilly you will fear it and handle it carefully, and almost always not bite it directly. Syour reaction to a chilly is fearful. You will automatically turn away from it even though I place a very mild chilly for you to bite. The same happens with life- learnt events. We react with old taught/learnt memory towards new happenings in our life. The event that we are currently facing is not the same as the event we faced before, but we will react to our present event with the memory of the lessons learnt from the past event we faced. This is also why past life can be visited to feel and understand memories that make us react a certain way towards present events.
Going back to the chilly memory, under hypnosis, the memory does not change but the reaction does. This is because you are in a completely relaxed mental and physical posture. Your trust level is high and under Hypnosis the amygdala in our brain, which stores our ‘flight or fight’ response based on memory, is shut off. In all probability when you come out of hypnosis your reaction to that fiery chilly has changed. You will certainly have an instinctual response of the “heat” of the chilly, but you will also be able to see the attractive colour of a chilly, its spice properties and how it can enhance your cooking .
You have more positive reactions to that same chilly with an understanding of its nature.
Now this is a major change of perception and can happen very fast with many of our stored memories that we have of this life and perhaps in lives before. As a therapist I help you and guide you through this maze of memories and help you to see the positive and colourful aspects of the most vicious memories that your mind and body might have stored and is currently reacting to.
The reactions may be in the form of physical illnesses, habits, addictions, allergies and much more.

As I said before, there is no magic in hypnosis just true understanding of what is actually happening around you and your reactions and how you deal with life situations. You are taking small steps with the hypnotherapist in helping yourself. You are making your brain and mind work with your body.
Hypnosis could be called the art of using your own mind to strengthen your own body, mind and soul. It feels like magic, because we have lost that infinite resource that we have within ourselves, and when we get in touch with it, a sort of real magic, if that is possible, happens.


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What does the word ‘anger’ conjure up? To most it is a wild dark and uncontrollable picture.

We do not like to face this picture for ‘fear’ of what it will unearth.

So are the words ‘anger’ and ‘fear’ both negative words which we do not want to face?

Anger and fear are both primary emotions like love and joy. We are made up of these primary emotions just as surely as we have physical features. Unfortunately for many years we have been subconsciously trained not to accept either emotion. Since these are primary emotions they are not emotions with which we can reason.

When we experience ‘fear’ our instinctive response is ‘flight’ or ‘fight’. These defense mechanisms help us to survive.

When we experience ‘anger’ we also feel pain. It is a pain which is felt at a very very deep subconscious level and it remains within us because we do not know how to express our anger and exhaust it.

Most of us respond to anger with a ‘fight’ response. If we dig deeper into this response, we realize what has really happened is that our true response to anger has been sidelined. We begin to ‘fear’ our own anger because society has conditioned us to do so. The instinctive response to fear is also the ‘fight’ response. By lashing out at someone or ‘revenge thoughts’ all we do is acknowledge our fear of anger. This leads to further frustration within ourselves and we get caught in the same vicious cycle of anger without really dealing with it.

How does one deal with anger? Anger is a sort of an unadulterated rage at our helplessness at being unable to deal with a situation. Many of us are in a state of ‘passive anger’ where the feeling of anger is masked by an unseemly calmness at dealing with life. Underneath that calmness is a burning fury of anger.

The first step to dealing with anger is to acknowledge it. The source of that anger is what is of primary importance. The source might be very trivial and may seem unjustified from a societal point of view. What we need to correct within ourselves is that anger is right and anger leads to pain. It is the Pain that we have to deal with ourselves. Anger does not mean giving pain to somebody else.

How does one acknowledge anger? This is a difficult question because anger surfaces at the smallest of pretext. Sometimes there is no pretext and there is just anger. Once we start recognizing that anger exists within us and is part and parcel of us, our mental make-up and all that we stand for then it becomes easier for us to acknowledge anger. The more we push anger away the more it turns to fear and the more is our ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ (passive aggressive) response.

Let’s look at anger visually from the moment of birth. A baby is born and cries. The primary emotion is ‘fear’ and ‘anger’ at being thrust out of the warm womb, though this is an act of nature. The baby acknowledges fear by flaying its arms and legs wildly but it doesn’t get anywhere. Then the baby acknowledges the anger by crying loudly. Why does the baby cry? The baby understands the pain coming from the anger and reacts with grief. The baby feels the helplessness of being thrust from its cosy womb by an act of nature. The baby instinctively understands that anger comes from its helplessness. The baby is in touch with both these emotions. Later the baby is held and fed. It feels joy and contentment when it is fed and love and happiness when it is held. As we grow up all these emotions mature and evolve just like our physical features do.

Normal homes encourage the ‘love’ and ‘joy’ process of evolution but deny the ‘anger’ fear’ process of evolution. We have left evolving and maturing these emotions far far behind. Suddenly one day we wake up and find that many things in life cannot be handled. That is because 50% of our emotional makeup has been left at the baby stage!!

How do we start acknowledging the 50% of ourselves that we have left behind?

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Inner Child

Today I’m penning down my thoughts. I also want to share the really beautiful experience I recently had. How I reached this state with self awareness and self enquiry.

In an experiential session with myself  I was able to visit and feel my ‘inner child’. I have this normally vulnerable time with myself following a bath. I tend to lie down and do some experiential meditation ( where the body relaxes and the senses come alive to just ‘be). Then I speak and experience within myself  all the facets of the good and evil( emotions and thoughts and actions) within me.

This is especially relevant to the constant demons within me. I experience all my weakest and most vulnerable moments and re live them. I constantly find the so called good thoughts are actually quite evil below the surface and that’s why our demons. Once I started doing this, in a way I experienced the calcinatio of the alchemical opus and it took me a long time to let the dross burn away.

Later I reversed these feelings and lead myself to experience the pure goodness within, the one that is healing and simply believes and “lets go”. Its really got nothing to do with thoughts I realised. Its not about wanting anything good to happen to another person, its not about being good with another person, its not about good  thoughts, its not about anything except pure belief in your “self” and your “soul” and that which is tied to  implicit faith….its not about wanting to do good to society and any such great and noble thoughts, these are just figments of our human existence…its about something deep within, that which is not human which has no relation to this real world which  is ONLY REAL (TRUTH) when you reach that point.

‘She’ or ‘me’ or my ‘inner child’ was sitting there, vulnerable as ever and when I reached out and touched her and re assured her, it was the most incredible experience of my life. “I” became the observer of “me”. Its not my heart, its not my soul, its something beyond.

Now that I am back to living an every day life, I wonder who touched her, the ‘me’ inside… all along I felt bound by Eric Berne’s theory of the transactional analysis and the parent child adult specs… so I kept telling myself that it was the parent, specially the critical parent that drives the demons within us and it was my parent that reached out and touched her, my inner child. Also many other forms of logical analysis assailed my senses, as I could not quite accept this.

As I went in deeper I finally realised that it was Grace that touched her, my inner child, it was only Grace that could give my inner child the love it needed, the faith it needed, the re assurance that it felt and the exhilaration. Somewhere my fear seems to have vanished! It is truly wonderful feeling loved like this.

The fear I feel now is much more rational, just on the surface and very practical… like how much money I have in the bank, how much is required for any task set up. How much work is required for any incomplete taks, will I finish it? .Etc etc…. the unknown fears which manifest to us in various other ways constantly, especially through our body mind combination seem to have been off-loaded from ‘me’ my inner child.

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She comes everyday, many times 3-4 times almost obsessively for a read. I am flattered.
The stories, the jargon, my ramblings and my babble, but mainly for my spell recipies.
Something tells me that she sends the rumor links hidden in good spells across to her friends and relatives too. The opening page on many new readers’s entry clicks are links sent from Yahoo mail… I know she uses Yahoo mail. (For those who are new, “Yahoo” is a jungle cry)
Who else but a true fan would send links of my blog through yahoo mail?

I read and re-read my written spells many times after I noticed such devotion. Maybe there was something in there that I missed? Maybe my style of writing knowledgeable spells is so impressive that she simply absorbs it every time she clicks on. You know, like a sweet fragrance, one just cannot get enough of it. It probably comes right off my page.

Mmmm the waft of that lingering fragrance, of the St. Emillion, on the terrace, red wine and your lips on mine?.. Yes sireee…I know how that spell feels, specially when the wine flows from you lips to mine.. ((Yuck, I’m getting mushy.)). Perhaps she feels like that; strength in delusion; overpowering. She can’t stop herself, she is so addicted.

She loves me and then hates me, she breathes me and then kills me, and she envies me and then cries for me. She feels she knows me, she identifies with me. How can I ever loose such devotion? I do everything to keep her coming back. My strength grows as she reads my spells.

Her interpretations of my ingredients are quite unique, she does her interpretations with so much panache, totally oblivious to the fact that “I” have concocted, brewed and boiled the cauldron not her. Then she sends all wrong recipes to her “raging group” friends and family, they relish it, little knowing the potency is hidden. It works at the most unwanted times but they get addicted too.

They all come visiting, their noses leading them to have a sniff of my potent brew, right from the blog itself. I let just the right whiff escape and their nostrils lead them right back. I mean I do not need to subscribe to Jungle Words at all; my new blog has more hits than a formally launched Wicca website!!

But alas, she is no true blooded sorceress. She is a “raging sorceress”!! (There are many sub-sects to this variety) They are all very dangerous to the mental health of human kind.

Then there is the mystery of her timings, I know she thinks of me every moment, because she clicks on me, through every time zone, while being located in Adelphia country. She has to be a raging sorceress. This type lives their entire life in and out of people’s hair in Adelphia Country.
Most of us from the Wicca world know how difficult it is to transcend time. Our masters spell makers are not able to, unless they make huge sacrifices.

She has charmed and chained a twinkling eyes gnome, who was once a fabled “good guy” gnome spirit, her ghoulish spirits have spirited away his defenses and he now lives in unpalatable misery yet unknown to him. The fabled gnome was my most devoted follower before he was sucked out of his “good guy” gnome tribe with eyes gouged out, so that he may never see the truth. She left his ears for him so that she could fill it with spells. Sorcery spells are known to be more effective when they are conveyed as rumors!!

Psst…. this he has secretly admitted to me, in his unique way of sending messages. I will tell you that in another story.

The “raging sorceress” has a rumor system that operates on messages like the smoke clouds of yore.
The “raging sorceress” need and feed off rumor mills, their very strength is sapped if they are unable to feed the mill every day.
This raging sorceress smokes through her ears and nostrils, and those signals are carried to me and many others through the fabled gnome.
He gets the familiar “good guy” pat when he does this for her, this keeps him alive. Otherwise “good guy” gnomes cannot survive.
Let me leave the poor gnome alone for a minute and deal with the raging sorceress. My gnome is a harmless old fellow now blind and back broken

Sometimes she sends strong signals, not subtle like the smoke ones, which are open to the vagaries of the wind (yuck.. dirty smell)…When she needs rumors to be stronger then she starts sounding the drums, boy, those are loud, they echo in the poor gnome’s ears so loud, ((another useful function of those gnome ears)) that he runs out of hiding and yells “hear her, hear her, please for my sake hear her” “I can’t stand any more” .. (( Which is what I am sure he will do after she reads this piece? In fact I am willing to bet my last gold coin on it.))

I finally reached her lair last week. Sniffing all my alluring spells had made her numb and she got careless, intoxicated with false strength and her rage spilled over, leaving footprints behind as she kept coming back for more.

I have been training to use a particularly powerful spell to break down this sorceress. She can turn rumors into a fire that will eventually consume the very existence of the honest world.
Every one saw how she disappeared last week. Right off the public square.
It was dual like no other, the opponent ((me)) was invisible, she was tranced into showing herself, and I mesmerized her so well, that she showed herself in true colors. Everyone enjoyed her magical presence.
She felt she was stealing the show, but while many clapped the spell started having its effect. Her evil rumors were there for all to see and right before the public eyes she vanished, taking the gnome with her. (That was sad) I guess my spell is not perfect.

Nothing is as powerful as the combination of the “storylore” and the “honestknocks” spells. No evil, genius mind can overcome the powerful magic of this super spell. Everyone stands awed by it. It cannot be undone, so beware while using it!

Yippee I was effective. My master has taught me well. It took me more than 3 long ears….oops I mean years (I really miss my gnome) to learn to use this spell.
As for the poor “good guy” gnome, he is doomed, while he carries out his duties in her world, he is chained to her after all.
As I am writing this, I know I will miss her. Who will sound the jungle drums; who will send the smoke signals and who will play rumors with me?
I need her, and my gnome too so that I might carry on playing a cat and mouse game.
My blog will complain of lost clicks, it might not sustain itself; it needs her obsessive page hits and publicity. My blog is “hooked”
Hey I got a traitor in my midst!! 
Someone teach me another spell. 


[ This is a basic life position, script story. The analysis and interpretations are open. The blog is an open mind, like ours, clicks, hits are random unknown thoughts hitting us daily, the barrage is non stop. Then we all have Rage which always overpowers us, blinds us, yet keeps giving us that succour of listening to all else else except ur own mind and the truth. The spells are the realities which we glimpse from time to time, some are delusions, some are not.The gnomes are those little pricks of conscience, that we beat down whenever we dont want to hear the “honestknocks”…sometimes the fear gets too great, sometimes the fear engulfs us. Sometimes we do disappear,into ourselves and come back better, sometimes we disappear and stay there… !!! ENJOY!!!]

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