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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

We have become so technologically advanced today that we easily communicate and commune with each other across times zones and oceans and that too live! Unfortunately many of us have lost true communication with ourselves. We have forgotten what it is like to simply commune with nature and we have lost touch with our own individual instinct. We have learnt to make that little voice in our head mimic everyone else and their opinions and expectations, and in this process we have lost our real “little voice”.
Hypnotherapy is a sure fire way of getting in touch with yourself, the real you and your own “little voice”. This will help you to deal with the reality of life around you and many times we know very instinctually exactly how to heal what ails us. This is the so called magic of hypnosis or hypnotherapy.
Factually speaking there is no magic, it’s just You communing with Yourself, with a hypnotherapist holding your hand, because you have seemingly lost yourself and need a professional guide to find that lost destination “Yourself”.

Under hypnosis, you are totally aware of your surroundings and completely in control. The difference is that you are now in a totally relaxed mental and physical posture that your hypnotherapist guides you into. Under these very specially relaxed conditions or hypnosis, all your thoughts, reactions and memories are in a continuous flow and you begin to change your perceptions towards the very same same thoughts and memories that have bogged you down. Slowly but surely, with a skilled hypnotherapist your mind set becomes more positive.
Let me give you a simple example. As a normal person you know (have learnt) that a green chili is hot. So when you pick up a chilly you will fear its bite and handle it carefully, and almost always not bite into it directly. So your reaction to a chili is fearful. You will automatically turn away from it even though I place a very mild chili for you to taste. The same happens with life- learnt events. We react with old taught/learnt memory towards new happenings in our life. The event that we are currently facing is not the same as the event we faced before, but we will react to our present event with the memory of the lessons learnt from the past event we faced. This is also why past life can be visited to feel and understand memories that make us react a certain way towards present events.
Going back to the chili memory, under hypnosis, the memory does not change but the reaction does. This is because you are in a completely relaxed mental and physical posture. Your trust level is high and under Hypnosis the amygdala in our brain, which stores our ‘flight or fight’ response based on memory, is shut off. In all probability when you come out of hypnosis your reaction to that fiery chili has changed. You will certainly have an instinctual response of the “heat” of the chilly, but you will also be able to see the attractive colour of a chilly, its spice properties and how it can enhance your cooking .
You have more positive reactions to that same chili now. Your perception has changed.
Now this is a major change of perception and can happen very fast with many of our stored memories that we have of this life and perhaps in lives before. As a therapist I help you and guide you through this maze of memories and help you to see the positive and colorful aspects of the most vicious memories that your mind and body might have stored and is currently reacting to.
The reactions may be in the form of physical illnesses, habits, addictions, allergies and much more.

As I said before, there is no magic in hypnosis just true understanding of what is actually happening around you and your reactions and how you deal with life situations. You are taking small steps with the hypnotherapist in helping yourself. You are making your brain and mind work with your body.
Hypnosis could be called the art of using your own mind to strengthen your own body, mind and soul. It feels like magic, because we have lost that infinite resource that we have within ourselves, and when we get in touch with it, a sort of real magic, if that is possible, happens.

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Anger…….

What does the word ‘anger’ conjure up? To most it is a wild dark and uncontrollable picture.

We do not like to face this picture for ‘fear’ of what it will unearth.

So are the words ‘anger’ and ‘fear’ both negative words which we do not want to face?

Anger and fear are both primary emotions like love and joy. We are made up of these primary emotions just as surely as we have physical features. Unfortunately for many years we have been subconsciously trained not to accept either emotion. Since these are primary emotions they are not emotions with which we can reason.

When we experience ‘fear’ our instinctive response is ‘flight’ or ‘fight’. These defense mechanisms help us to survive.

When we experience ‘anger’ we also feel pain. It is a pain which is felt at a very very deep subconscious level and it remains within us because we do not know how to express our anger and exhaust it.

Most of us respond to anger with a ‘fight’ response. If we dig deeper into this response, we realize what has really happened is that our true response to anger has been sidelined. We begin to ‘fear’ our own anger because society has conditioned us to do so. The instinctive response to fear is also the ‘fight’ response. By lashing out at someone or ‘revenge thoughts’ all we do is acknowledge our fear of anger. This leads to further frustration within ourselves and we get caught in the same vicious cycle of anger without really dealing with it.

How does one deal with anger? Anger is a sort of an unadulterated rage at our helplessness at being unable to deal with a situation. Many of us are in a state of ‘passive anger’ where the feeling of anger is masked by an unseemly calmness at dealing with life. Underneath that calmness is a burning fury of anger.

The first step to dealing with anger is to acknowledge it. The source of that anger is what is of primary importance. The source might be very trivial and may seem unjustified from a societal point of view. What we need to correct within ourselves is that anger is right and anger leads to pain. It is the Pain that we have to deal with ourselves. Anger does not mean giving pain to somebody else.

How does one acknowledge anger? This is a difficult question because anger surfaces at the smallest of pretext. Sometimes there is no pretext and there is just anger. Once we start recognizing that anger exists within us and is part and parcel of us, our mental make-up and all that we stand for then it becomes easier for us to acknowledge anger. The more we push anger away the more it turns to fear and the more is our ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ (passive aggressive) response.

Let’s look at anger visually from the moment of birth. A baby is born and cries. The primary emotion is ‘fear’ and ‘anger’ at being thrust out of the warm womb, though this is an act of nature. The baby acknowledges fear by flaying its arms and legs wildly but it doesn’t get anywhere. Then the baby acknowledges the anger by crying loudly. Why does the baby cry? The baby understands the pain coming from the anger and reacts with grief. The baby feels the helplessness of being thrust from its cosy womb by an act of nature. The baby instinctively understands that anger comes from its helplessness. The baby is in touch with both these emotions. Later the baby is held and fed. It feels joy and contentment when it is fed and love and happiness when it is held. As we grow up all these emotions mature and evolve just like our physical features do.

Normal homes encourage the ‘love’ and ‘joy’ process of evolution but deny the ‘anger’ fear’ process of evolution. We have left evolving and maturing these emotions far far behind. Suddenly one day we wake up and find that many things in life cannot be handled. That is because 50% of our emotional makeup has been left at the baby stage!!

How do we start acknowledging the 50% of ourselves that we have left behind?

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Inner Child

Today I’m penning down my thoughts. I also want to share the really beautiful experience I recently had. How I reached this state with self awareness and self enquiry.

In an experiential session with myself  I was able to visit and feel my ‘inner child’. I have this normally vulnerable time with myself following a bath. I tend to lie down and do some experiential meditation ( where the body relaxes and the senses come alive to just ‘be). Then I speak and experience within myself  all the facets of the good and evil( emotions and thoughts and actions) within me.

This is especially relevant to the constant demons within me. I experience all my weakest and most vulnerable moments and re live them. I constantly find the so called good thoughts are actually quite evil below the surface and that’s why our demons. Once I started doing this, in a way I experienced the calcinatio of the alchemical opus and it took me a long time to let the dross burn away.

Later I reversed these feelings and lead myself to experience the pure goodness within, the one that is healing and simply believes and “lets go”. Its really got nothing to do with thoughts I realised. Its not about wanting anything good to happen to another person, its not about being good with another person, its not about good  thoughts, its not about anything except pure belief in your “self” and your “soul” and that which is tied to  implicit faith….its not about wanting to do good to society and any such great and noble thoughts, these are just figments of our human existence…its about something deep within, that which is not human which has no relation to this real world which  is ONLY REAL (TRUTH) when you reach that point.

‘She’ or ‘me’ or my ‘inner child’ was sitting there, vulnerable as ever and when I reached out and touched her and re assured her, it was the most incredible experience of my life. “I” became the observer of “me”. Its not my heart, its not my soul, its something beyond.

Now that I am back to living an every day life, I wonder who touched her, the ‘me’ inside… all along I felt bound by Eric Berne’s theory of the transactional analysis and the parent child adult specs… so I kept telling myself that it was the parent, specially the critical parent that drives the demons within us and it was my parent that reached out and touched her, my inner child. Also many other forms of logical analysis assailed my senses, as I could not quite accept this.

As I went in deeper I finally realised that it was Grace that touched her, my inner child, it was only Grace that could give my inner child the love it needed, the faith it needed, the re assurance that it felt and the exhilaration. Somewhere my fear seems to have vanished! It is truly wonderful feeling loved like this.

The fear I feel now is much more rational, just on the surface and very practical… like how much money I have in the bank, how much is required for any task set up. How much work is required for any incomplete taks, will I finish it? .Etc etc…. the unknown fears which manifest to us in various other ways constantly, especially through our body mind combination seem to have been off-loaded from ‘me’ my inner child.

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