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Archive for July, 2007

We were discussing “time” …”time” not as in time management, but what is time?
How do we view time?
Do we feel guilty when we dont utilise time correctly?
Do we feel bound by time?
Do we feel time has a limitation?…..Or is it we… ourselves because of our restricted vision and mortality that we feel limited by time?

“Time” we realised was a “natural resource”… just like air and water.
Time is limitless, its there for everyone to experience, to feel and use into eternity.
Breath is air, we are not aware that we breathe, we just keep breathing.
Asthama make us aware of our breath, or lack of air. When we are in pain, when we “need” only then do we become acutely aware??
Is it then that any pain that makes us more acutuely aware of a natural resource??
We would probably die of thrist more easily than hunger, we then become aware of water.

What then is the pain of “time” that makes us so aware of time, actually a limitless natural resource?
This was an interesting question, posed by the co-ordinator.
Its been something that has eaten my weekend, trying to undesrtand the wholeness of this concept.
This concept that time is universal, its a natural resource and it doesn’t come or it doesn’t go. It is limitless and all encompassing.
We cannot harness time, we can flow with it.
We are limited and bound by our own limitation.
We cannot comprehend our own duality and hence our mortality.

Similar to the “Oceanic feeling” I have described below, its a sense of wonder, “time”…as we say time heals, time gives and time takes away…
It can be pleasant, it can be disturbing, its in our mortal hands to utilise correctly, or with reverence, with a sense of wonder “time”…that’s what I feel it is..

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In the opening pages of CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS,
Sigmund Freud acknowledged the existence, in some people, of what
he called “the oceanic feeling.” It includes an awareness of one’s
smallness in the face of the rest of what is. Words like “awe” and
“adoration” come to mind. This feeling isn’t simply fear, or need
not be. It may include a sense of unspeakable joy, a strong
feeling of all-right-ness. Often there is an inclination to
acknowledge some sort of obligation to do better, or to be better,
in the presence of that.

Freud admitted to having never experienced this feeling
personally, but for some reason he felt he needed to refer to it.

Unlike Freud, this writer has experienced the oceanic feeling, the sense of wonder; and also let me say here the oceanic feeling is not always pleasant.
Littleness is part of it. Helplessness often is.
A sense of loss of control, along with fear and frustration, can be in it.
An awareness of my mortality is in it.

My earliest memory of it was a recurring thought, which was more like an audience than a vision. I was very, very young, in fact within the womb, dialouging with myself, reaching out to my mother for allowing me to be born.
I felt deep pain, a sense of helplessness when I felt myself hearing the sub-conscious thoughts of my own mother. Later I corroborated with her, and learnt that she had not wished to be pregnant at that time. She had wanted a child, but only much later. This was astounding news to me and a part of me experienced that wondourous feeling again. It was the sense of wonder.

I feel it when I am swept away by sexual ecstasy.
I feel it, sometimes, as I kneel alone staring into space and connecting with the unknown.
I have felt it reading certain books, discovering new previously unimagined contents.
And I feel the oceanic feeling every time, when, after an absence of months or years, I first see again the ocean itself, or the Himalayas I wallow in that feeling.

A client recently told me, that he creates this wondourous feeling everytime he bathes his lover after tender lovemaking, or asks to be fed by his lover while he feeds her too, fulfilling his desire to feel wanted and make her feel wanted.
We all try and re-create this feeling with our partners in some special way expecting to be fulfilled, but it doesn’t happen!!
What he was re-creating was a material consequence masked in emotional layers.
Its the third truth from the Buddha, “the craving” the desire to be “one” the desire to “want” the desire to “feel” this oceanic feeling of ecstasy.
All I could explain was that it cannot be commissioned, it simply happens when we lower our defences and submit ourselves to the sense of wonder without any expectation.

On the contrary, the oceanic feeling, the sense of wonder, can
lead people to a humble awareness of Truth, with some sense of the
human ego’s relative size and importance, in all the Cosmos.
This is a feeling to be experienced in totality without conscious awareness and certainly not by creating an experience.

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